


Knothole

by scioscribe



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Complicated Relationships, F/F, Kissing, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scioscribe/pseuds/scioscribe
Summary: That was the funny, skin-prickling pleasure of knowing Laura: you could tell her anything and she would just take it in with those crystal-clear eyes and that little smile like it was something she’d figured out a long time ago.  It could make a person crazy.





	Knothole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosedamask](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosedamask/gifts).



With any other girl, Audrey might have asked if she could keep a secret.

Of course, with Laura, she already knew. That was the funny, skin-prickling pleasure of knowing Laura: you could tell her anything and she would just take it in with those crystal-clear eyes and that little smile like it was something she’d figured out a long time ago. It could make a person crazy.

Then again, what couldn’t?

Audrey could put up with going crazy. She wanted to know all the things Laura knew, even if she was afraid to. Wanted to slide the top off her like she was one of those jewelry store gift boxes, satiny cardboard squeaking against cardboard, tissue paper and gold inside. Only with Laura it could be anything.

And Laura was kind. She wasn’t always a good person—all the Meals on Wheels in the world couldn’t fool Audrey, no, she’d seen enough to know the darker edges around all that—but she was kind. With Johnny.

Audrey had said that to her once and Laura had said, “He’s one of the only people in the world who doesn’t want a bite out of me,” like she was an apple, all sweet and red.

That was when she had decided to give Laura the knothole as a gift. About the best thing you could give somebody was something for their collection, and didn’t Laura collect secrets? She would have room in her heart for one more.

“Come on,” she said now, tugging Laura by the hand. She liked the urgency of it, dragging Laura along behind her like they were kids running through some sort of field.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere special. A place inside a place.” She searched for a metaphor. “It’s like stepping inside a snow globe and looking out at all the people around you looking in and thinking you’re just a toy.”

That seemed to jolt Laura a little. Then she smiled. Her mouth was a pale pink and pretty like a Valentine’s Day heart. “All right. I like that. Whatever it is, I want to see.”

Audrey took her between the walls. “Here,” she said, stopping in front of the knothole. “You can look right through.” She spoke in a whisper even though her father wasn’t in his office. Everything was more exciting in a whisper.

Laura bent and looked. She straightened back up again after just a few seconds.

“That’s not anything,” Laura said. Her voice had gotten hard, like Audrey had opened up the jewelry box after all and come across a diamond hard enough to prick her finger. “Great. More Ben Horne. Like I don’t know your father, Audrey. Like everybody doesn’t. Who wants a snow globe when it’s just another way to get trapped?”

She tried to stand her ground. Laura wasn’t the arbiter of whether or not a secret was worth having. If she didn’t like it, fine, but she didn’t have to be a royal bitch about it all. “Maybe it’s only by looking when nobody knows you’re looking that you can see a way _out_ of being trapped.”

“God,” Laura said, shaking her head. She wouldn’t whisper, wouldn’t even dignify the little space with that. “I always tell myself you’re smarter than the rest of them and then you just do things like this. You’re just so innocent.” She said it like the word burned her tongue.

That was what made Audrey kiss her. It was an argument, and she wanted to win it: she moved up on Laura and pressed her against the pine walls and fitted their lips together. Valentine on Valentine, homecoming queen and girl most likely to succeed, lonely, scurrying things in a wall, like rats, like roaches. Laura bit at Audrey’s lip and Audrey opened her mouth up in a gasp, a gasp Laura took full advantage of, kissing her more deeply. She slid her hand up underneath Audrey’s sweater, Audrey tucking her stomach in to help her, Laura’s fingers trailing against her belly, just a little cold.

Laura laughed. She cupped one of Audrey’s breasts in her hand, Audrey feeling the pressure in a melting kind of way even through her bra, and then the laugh died out. Laura drew back, letting go and stepping away. She shook her head.

Audrey’s face was burning. “What?”

“I don’t want to make a joke out of you,” Laura said slowly. “There are things about me you don’t know—”

“I know that,” Audrey said impatiently.

“There’s a lot more about me you don’t know than you think,” Laura said. “A lot of reasons you wouldn’t want to kiss me.” Whatever real look had been on her face disappeared, and now she was just Perfect Laura, glittering and gone. “And maybe I don’t want to kiss you anyway.”

She wasn’t stupid. “But you do. You think I don't know you do?”

“I like it here,” Laura said. She was looking up now, looking all around them, though there wasn’t much space to look. She wasn’t ignoring Audrey, not exactly; Audrey didn’t think so, anyway. She was just somewhere else. A snow globe within a snow globe. Or someone outside of all the glass and spy-holes in the world, someone looking in at the rest of them in their showers of glitter and their pretty little fake towns. “It’s like being invisible. But you could do so much better than this, Audrey. You could be something spectacular, somewhere… somewhere really far away.”

She turned back to Audrey and Audrey saw that there were tears in her eyes.

“Laura.” Audrey grabbed at her hands. “Just tell me.”

“It’s nothing you can see from here,” Laura said. She laughed shortly. “I don’t know, maybe someday you could, depending on his mood. Some kind of Christmas party…” She kissed Audrey again, like she hadn’t just been half-explaining how she couldn’t, and this time the kiss was soft. It was meant to be a goodbye, Audrey could tell.

She stood still, stunned, and let it happen to her. And then Laura reached up and stroked her thumb across Audrey’s lower lip. It came away wet.

“A snowflake,” she said. “You’re covered in them.”

“It’s just dust.” Though she didn’t know how anybody could make that mistake. “It’s just glittering in the light.”

“It’s beautiful,” Laura said, and she looked up again. She was relaxed now, all gold and silver. Audrey had never seen anybody so beautiful. And that Laura was beautiful was no kind of secret, but somehow this felt like one, so she just stood still, as she always did in this place, and looked.


End file.
